Apat na taon na ang nakalipas ng kunin ng Maykapal ang mahal kong inang. alam kong sa edad na yun ni inang at sa dami na rin n'yang naramdaman sa kanyang katawan ay tanggap na rin namin ang kanyang paglisan.
Naaalala ko lang ng panahon n siya ay nabubuhay. Mahal na mahal ako ni Inang wala siyang hindi gagawin para kami ay tulungan.
Inang alam kong kapiling ka na ng Maykapal, nais kong magpasalamat sa pagmamahal na walang sawa mong inialay sa amin. Patawad inang sa mga kamalian na nagawa ko sa iyo. Pangako inang gagawin ko sa aking mga anak at asawa ang pinaramdam mo na pagmamahal, dahil batid ko na mas lalo kang magiging masaya sa kinaroroonan mo ngayon kong makikita mo na tinatanim ko ang pagmamahal na itinuro at ipinadama mo sa aming lahat na magkakatid.
Muli inang salamat.
Mahal na mahal kita.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
KAPATID: Sulat ni Terry M. Dionisio
PANATA'Y WALANG IWANAN SA KABILA NG KAHIRAPAN
MALALIM NA DAMAYAN PAGMAMAHAL NA ITO'Y AKING NAKAMTAN
SA ISANG KAPATID NA EDGARDO ANG PANGALAN
MALILIIT PA LANG KAMING BATA LAGI NA KAMING MAGKASAMA
SA LAHAT NG BAGAY LAGING MAGKAPAREHA
SINELAS, SANDO, GAMIT SA ESKWELA
KUNG MERON AKO, MERON DIN SYA
KUNG MERON SYA, MERON KAMING DALAWA
AWAY DITO, AWAY DUN DAIG PANG ASO'T PUSA
MINSAN PA NGA BUGBUGAN WALA NAMANG DUGUAN
GANYAN KAMI NI KUYA NUNG MALIIT PANG BATA
NANG MATUTO NA SA ESKWELA AT NAGKAWISYO NA
SABAY NAMING NAKITA KALAGAYAN NG PAMILYA
KADUSTAAN, KAHIRAPAN, MATINDING KARUKHAAN
SABAY NAMING HINARAP, ISANG HAMONG TINANGGAP
SI KUYA ED ANG KAPATID KONG IPAGLALALABAN ANG PAMILYA
SI KUYA ED ANG KAPATID KONG MATALAS ANG DILA
SI KUYA ED ANG KAPATID KONG MAHILIG SA LAKWATSA
SI KUYA ED ANG KAPATID KONG TUTULONG HANGGA'T KAYA
SI KUYA ED ANG KAPATID KONG HANDANG MAGPARAYA
SI KUYA ED ANG KAPATID KONG DIYOS LAGI ANG KASAMA
Marcelo: My One and Only Uncle!
According to my
Inang, my uncle lost his parents at a very young age. He lived with his sister
for a while but because of personal issues and conflicts my uncle had to leave.
Thus, he walked for 5 to 8 hours going to the place of my Inang. Every time he would share it, he cannot
imagine having to survive it and be able to walk for very long hours without
eating and drinking at all. Tata Elo would usually share that vivid experience
he had which will be forever in his mind.
Since Tata Elo only
finished Grade 3, he can only land a job decent enough for him to earn for a
living. He worked as a factory worker in a textile company near our residence
in Taguig. I can say that he has enjoyed his work as he has showed his love and
dedication to his work as an employee.
I will never forget
the very first movie I have watched at Pinoy Theater in Pasig together with
him. It was a very exciting and happy experience for me as it was my first time
to be in a movie house. Also, he would bring me together with my youngest
brother to a church in San Pedro Laguna, even if he knew that I would vomit
because I usually get dizzy from a long travel.
Tata Elo as an uncle
has played multiple roles in my family. He would be a father and at the same
time mother as well. I recall the time when I got sick and he wanted me to
drink medicine. It was very difficult for me to swallow it as he was
instructing me to swallow it with a banana. I was crying like a baby while
trying very hard to swallow it. When he asked me to put my tongue out, he got
very mad because the banana was gone while the medicine was still in my mouth.
Whew! That was a hard but loving moment I had with Tata Elo.
As I grew older, it
was my chance to show my love, concern and service to him. I will never ever
forget the time when I brought him to a public hospital for his eye cataract
operation. We commuted going back and forth of the hospital. We have to ride a
side car going out of the place. The road was like a moon crater flooded with
water. The driver lost control of the side car and swerved down on the road
with water. I was shocked and don’t know what to do as I have to protect his
eyes because it was newly operated. I felt very sorry for Tata Elo because I cannot
give him the best service at that time.
Every time we would
visit his doctor for his eye check-up, he seems to feel good and excited about
it as Tata Elo is one person who loves to go out and roam around maybe because
he was deprived of these opportunities when he was young. I feel good and happy
seeing him enjoying every single fun time we spent together. He requested that
I bring him to Manila Zoo and Luneta which I did together with my nephews and
nieces. We also visited the National library and while we were moving around
the museum, I heard a very loud sound like a big stone falling from a tall
building. I was taken aghast to see Tata Elo on the floor like a baby because
he fell off from an elevated stage. Thank GOD he was not hurt at all. GOD must
really love my Tata Elo very much.
Knowing how he lived
a poor and hard life, it was my dream for Telo to ride in an airplane. I would narrate
to him how beautiful it is to see the blue clouds and the big ocean and all
other God and man made creation our eyes could ever see. Finally, the day came when I was blessed to
have the means to give him his first experience to fly. I can see the happiness
and excitement in his eyes as we got inside the airplane and slowly fly up to
the air. My heart was overwhelmed with
joy and gratitude as I finally realized my dream for my Tata Elo. We went to
the beautiful island of Bohol where we visited century old churches, the
majestic Chocolate hills and had our first floating restaurant experience while
listening to the angelic voices of the Lomboc children’s choir. I never heard and
saw my Tata Elo complain during our whole trip and he even said that he wanted
to go to Palawan for our next trip.
With all the happy
and loving moments I had with Tata Elo, I will try my best to emulate three
things that he has shared with me. First, being happy all the time without
complain. He has always been very happy as a person and I never heard him
complain about his condition in life despite his being single. Second, his
unconditional love to serve us especially Inang. He never got tired of serving
us until the time he aged. Third, his faithfulness and love to GOD by hearing
of the holy mass and daily recitation of the holy rosary.
Tata Elo, you have
shared your life to us and I will never ever forget every single moment I had
with you. I am very thankful to GOD for having you in my life as you have
influenced and inspired me in many ways. You are my one and only uncle that GOD
has given me and for that I feel very blessed.
I know that in GOD’s
loving time I will see you again Tata Elo and I can’t wait to hug and kiss you
and spend happy moments together and hear you laugh and talk in your “ngongo”
way. See you in heaven Telo and thank you for everything.
My Brother Is Not A Pig!
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During mealtime, a strange phenomenon usually happens that cannot be explained by anyone and even science would have a hard time digging facts about it. My eldest sister being very responsible, would divide and distribute the viand equally among our siblings. I remember vividly that our viand then was 'pritong galunggong' (fried mackerel fish). I would love to eat it with my rice swimming in water and rock salt.
Then, the moment of truth had to come out. When my sister was giving our share of the fish, she noticed that one piece was missing. She threatened all of us that if the guilty would not confess of the crime, she would punish all of us. Because my sister was like incredible hulk the female version, when she got angry, we were afraid of the consequence that we would receive from her. Yet despite this, nobody admitted that time. Until finally, my sister noticed the rice of my brother on his plate was shaped like Mt. Everest. My sister got suspicious and she slowly dug a hole from the surface of my brother’s rice. Aha! We saw the head of the fish as if wanting to escape from Alcatraz. My brother was caught hiding the fish so that he could get another one. Instead of blaming our brother, we all laughed and teased him for his work of art. Hehehehe! The mystery was solved and just like in any other court hearing, case closed.
While we were enjoying the taste of our humble but luscious food, my eldest brother who eats with a lot of enthusiasm and gusto would get a big chunk of rice like a construction worker spading huge bulk of sand, and slowly chew and swallow the gargantuan amount of rice and fried fish from his big hand. When he chewed, his face would turn elastic as if he was blowing a bazooka bubble gum. His two cheeks would bloat like a balloon and his face would change its appearance as if he underwent a face lift. We would control our laughter because we were afraid that our eldest brother might get embarrassed and eventually scold us.
As we continued with our meal, we were telling funny stories with each other. I found an opportunity to share with them my experience about my youngest brother. My brother was begging not to continue with the story but I believed that it was worth sharing after all. Every time we were in a jeepney going to school, my youngest brother had the habit of sleeping. One time, he fell asleep while his hands were hanging on the bar of the jeep. I was seated beside him and I was appalled to see that my brother was creating his own Guinness book of world record. I saw his saliva slowly falling from his mouth like a spider weaving its web. I was taken aghast by the sight that I saw. I gently woke up my brother so that no one would notice him and handed him my handkerchief. Wow! I didn’t know if I would deny him three times or disown him at that moment. Hehehe!
When it was my turn to be fried on the hot plate, my youngest brother was so fast in taking vengeance on me. He shared the time when we both didn’t have enough money to pay for our jeepney fare; I was like a coach telling him the game plan that we would do to be freed from shame and embarrassment. I told my youngest brother that the time we needed to go down from the jeep, I would count one, two, three, and we would jump and run as fast as we could. I told him that the key word to realize our game plan was timing. My siblings were all laughing hearing the story but I knew what I did was totally wrong. Honestly, I have already confessed it and never do it again.
As I reminisce all these funny and crazy moments I had with my siblings, I was reminded of this very popular line in the movie of the great Filipino Superstar, Nora Aunor, "My brother is not a pig!" I can’t help but laugh not because I agree that my brothers are a pig. It has become a common joke for many and I would remember uttering these words to them.
Wait, my brothers and sisters are not pigs! They are human beings like us! They are the happiest people I have in my life. Every time we are together, we always share each others laughter and happiness. We eat until the last grain of rice is finished, we sing songs as if we were the next contestants in Americal Idol, we shake our bellies with all the curves and waves, we banter with each other, watch movies and go places especially to Tagaytay, which is our favorite spot. In fact, we had our first spiritual recollection as siblings in that heavenly place facilitated by my youngest brother who is an ex-convict. Oopps, I mean ex-seminarian. Some of my friends envy me because we text and say 'I love you' with each other without inhibition..I am thankful to God for giving me such happy and loving brothers and sisters. God has planned it for us to be together,, to love one another and to accept each other no matter what. We are not perfect as siblings because we also have our own share of frailties, animosity, issues and fights, but we try our best to support, care, understand, forgive, and love each other especially now that our parents are gone. God has made everything possible for us to live a happy and good life as brothers and sisters.
If you think that my brothers are pigs, well, I would agree to a certain extent because they are big in size like a pig but they are the most amiable toy pig that one would want to have. Hehehe!
I love you my brothers and sister!
A Birthday to Remember
Now that another year is added into my life, I still wish that the day will come when I will see myself wearing a party cup, blowing candles, and receiving lots of gifts from my family and friends. It may sound selfish but I just wanted to experience the feeling. I am not really after the gifts that I will receive. I just wanted to feel the fun and excitement of celebrating my birthday in a childlike way.
For many years, I would usually celebrate my birthday in Tagaytay, in a heavenly place called "Munting Bukal." I call it "Birthday with the Lord." I would spend my whole day in meditation and prayer away from my family and friends. As I age, I realized that it is better to celebrate my birthday in silence thinking and feeling that God is with me during this very special day of my life. I have always wanted to have that rare opportunity of spending my birthday alone with God.
For this year, my friends here in Jakarta made their humble efforts to make me feel happy by preparing a simple "halo-halo party" and treated me for a dinner. Much as I would want to treat them, with my present situation, I just really can't afford to do it. Nevertheless, I am more than grateful to God for all the blessings especially the life that He gives me everyday.
However, this is my first birthday without the presence of my parents. I feel very sad knowing that it will always be like this. How I wish I could hear them greet me happy birthday and at the same time receiving their genuine hugs and kisses. It is the most priceless gift that I usually receive on my birthday. It breaks my heart thinking that it will not happen anymore thus, I have to live with it. Moreover, it is sad to be away from my family and I think I need to get used to this situation as an expatriate.
As a young child, I always wanted to be the center of attraction on my special day but as I grow older I realize that it changes. Given enough resources, I just wanted to bring back to God everything by sharing and making others happy especially those who are really in need. I cannot ask anything from God except that He continues to bless me everyday that I may live my life to the fullest according to His divine plan as I do my best to be an instrument of peace, love, and happiness to everyone.
Inang: My Loving and Faithful Mother
Growing up, she experienced a lot of pain, suffering, deprivation,
and humiliation. She was treated like a domestic helper by her uncle. One day,
she was crying like a child because she wanted something but they care less for
her. She locked up herself in a little room full of rice sacks and she held
herself up for long hours despite the extreme heat because of self pity and
embarrassment. While she was eating, the wife of her uncle would fiercely look
at her like she wanted to devour her. Helpless as she was, she continued eating
while tears were effortlessly running down from her eyes. Because of the
malevolent treatment she received from them, she begged for money like a
mendicant on the street just to provide for her personal needs.
If she was only given a chance to study, she would have become one
if not the most intelligent student in her class. She only finished Grade 3 but
she was very good in numbers and at the same time so confident and smart to
speak English. She would not feel shy to talk to anyone regardless of their
status in life. She would usually utter the words, “How I wish I could have
finished my studies and I would definitely have done well in school.” With her
unfulfilled dreams, she did everything as a mother to provide for her seven
children and she was able to send them all to school from her meager earning as
balut (egg) vendor. All her children finished their studies through her
hardwork, patience and, perseverance. She was able to prove herself that she is
indeed an intelligent person because of what she accomplished for her children.
Loving and faithful as she was, she trusted her relatives that
they would give her fair share of an ancestral land where she grew up and
raised up her children since the beginning. However, for some clandestine
reason, she was again deprived of her legal right. She begged to her relatives
but they were just too greedy and selfish to listen to her humble request.
Despite of it, she still lifted up everything to God and prayed for her
relatives. She was able to do it even though she was hurting and grieving.
She may have lived from a very poor family but her values as a
human being was far beyond compare because she never allowed herself to hate
and curse the people who deprived her of what was due her. She is one of the most loving, forgiving, accepting, and
God-loving mother in the world.
Inang, I tried my best to be a good son because of you and I am
trying hard to be a kind brother and person because of everything that you have
taught me. I terribly miss your presence and there is no single day that I
think of you and pray for you. Honestly, I don’t know anymore the feeling of
celebrating Mother’s Day because you are not with me anymore. How can I greet
you and give you my sweetest hugs and kisses if you are not here with me.
Inang, because of your personal history I realized and learned a
lot of good things in life. I will always remember, treasure, and try to live
by it as I continue to live a good life. One thing you always tell me is to
take care of my relationship with people. I believe that I am
doing that especially now that I live away from my siblings in the Philippines.
Also, I remember and miss the time we would pray the rosary together at 3:00
o’clock in the morning. You never get tired of doing it everyday.
Inang, I know God has read my blog about you. I beg of Him to have
mercy and grant my only request. And that is to see you one day in heaven and
still feel your genuine love and affection as I sing you songs which we would
usually do at home.
Inang, I still grieve and even crying right now while writing this
blog because I miss you more than heart and mind can comprehend. You don’t have
any idea at all how it feels to lose you and see you passed away last 27 July
2010. I hope that you would visit me even in my dreams. I am sorry if I have
not been kind to you all the time as your son. Since the day I was born, I knew
that you are my inspiration. But sometimes I feel that life is meaningless
because you are not here anymore.
Inang, I know that you are now celebrating this especial day with
God, Mama Mary, Lola Ana, and all the angels and saints in heaven. Please send
my warmest regards to all of them.
Inang, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET YOU. You
will always be in my mind and in my heart until the last day of my life. See
you again Inang.
Amang: My Father Whom God Has Blessed Me With
My Amang grew up from a
very poor family. In fact, he only reached Grade 3 and he was not able to learn
how to read and write. He worked as a janitor in a factory near our house. I
remember during election time, I would accompany him to the voting precinct to
guide him and give him instructions on what to do. When I was an elementary
student, I vividly recall the moment when he would ask me to accompany him to
watch the baseball game of my eldest brother to be his “tourist guide.” I would
read for him the signboard on the jeepney which we have to take going to the
venue. This incident strongly motivated me to study hard and make my father
feel proud that even if he was illiterate he was blessed with an educated son. Thus, I have tried my best to excel in my
academics.
My Amang may not fully know
the importance of education and the accomplishments I have earned academically
but I have realized that he was one of the reasons why I strove hard to earn
the highest possible academic degree that any person could achieve. When I
invited him for my graduation in my masteral degree, he replied by saying, “Why
do I have to attend your graduation, you are not going to graduate with honors
anyway.” Honestly, I tried my very best to graduate with honors. I was a
consistent academic scholar and academic excellent awardee until I received a
grade in my very last subject which disqualified me to graduate with
distinction. When I heard that from my Amang, honestly, I did not feel bad
because I know that someday I will reap the fruits of my labor. I have already
realized the reason why I did not graduate with honors, God wanted me to learn
and possess the most important human and holy virtue, humility.
Since my Amang was
addicted to alcohol and nicotine, he would always be with his friends drinking
alcohol practically everyday. He would spend more time with his friends and
would only go home when he will eat, sleep, watch television, and will do his
personal routine. I would not deny that I have cursed my Amang for hurting
everyone in the family both physically, psychologically, and emotionally especially
my Inang. I even remember calling up my older brother because Amang was hurting
Inang. It was one of my most painful moments with him.
If you ask me if I love
Amang, with all humility my answer is YES! As I grow older, I have realized
that we learn more from our painful and sad experiences in life. It may sound
crazy but I have to thank my Amang for that. He has taught me a lot of good
values from those painful moments and that is to be forgiving, accepting,
understanding, and loving as a son and as a Christian.
My Amang may have not
been an ideal father but I still consider him as a loving and caring father.
When I was four years old, he brought me to a perya (carnival) for a ride in a
ferris wheel. He was drunk then and I remember him telling me, “Anak pasensya
ka na, iyan lang ang kaya ng Amang mo.” (Son, I am very sorry because your
father can only give you this much.) I will never forget those words of Amang
which made me realized that no matter how much Amang wanted to show his love to
me and my siblings, he can only do as much. I know in my heart the reason why Amang
said that. It has something to do with his personal history from the day he was
born until the time he became my father.
After 5 years of
working in Indonesia, I went back home to the Philippines. It was my constant
hope and prayer then, only to realize that I will take care of Amang on his
remaining months. It was the most unforgettable, loving, and nurturing moments
I had with Amang. Through him, I was able to show and learn all the loving
values that a son could give to his father.
He told me not to
confine him anymore because he feels very sorry that I have to spend my hard
earned money from working abroad. I told him that I don’t mind if I have to use
up every single peso I have saved if that will prolong his life with the hope
that he will be totally healed from his sickness. One day when we rushed him to
the hospital, I thought that it was his time to go. By the grace of God, he
still made it on that day. I whispered to him, “Amang, I am very thankful to
the Lord because you are still here with me.”
Through all the pain,
sacrifice, service, joy, happiness, and loving moments I had with Amang, I have
come to realize that no matter what I have been through with him, his my Amang which
God has blessed me with.
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